Toilet full of bugs @ephemeromorph@topspicy.social

#introductions Ephemeromorph = an organism that cannot be classified as animal or vegetable.

I'm Voybridge and I probably will toot about:
- Bibeogaem I'm playing
- The ongoing ineptitude of my cow-irkers
- Cool bugs I see
- Judas Priest
- Farting

#Caturday He put him beans on my boob.

Cat is sleeping in my lap, grunting softly. (Not sure if snoring or sleep-talking.)

I dreamed last night that I had to go back to university and we had to do PE, uuuuurgh.

Last night I was on a Rob Zombie kick while playing Flight Rising, so I decided to name one of my dragons 'Dragula'. It's a boss name, but then I realised it's pretty silly-sounding to give that name to a DRAGON. Like calling a dog 'Dogula'.

Wait, no, Dogula is an amazing name for a dog.

You could easily do a terrorism in the pokemon world by catching a wailord (basically a blue whale) then using a t-shirt gun to launch its pokeball over a populated area. The summoned wailord would squish all people and level all buildings in the vicinity.

A Man King is when several men get stuck together by their anal beards.

Last night I played Night Dragon, my favourite Fighting Fantasy game book. It had been so long since I last played it that I'd forgotten most of it, so it was fun re-discovering.
It's such a good book, I'm surprised it wasn't chosen for the reprints. It's currently out of print with no plans to bring it back.

I want to type it up and put it into Twine or something so I can share it with the internet...

Basing your gender identity around someone else's IP seems a bit silly to me, but "grimey, underground, and infested, while keeping a mystical aura" absolutely slaps as a gender idea.
https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Hollowgender

Pokemon Shit and Pokemon Piss
Pokemon Scylla and Pokemon Charybdis
Pokemon Fish and Pokemon Chips
Pokemon Cock and Pokemon Balls
Pokemon Salt and Pokemon Pepper
Pokemon Cease and Pokemon Desist
Pokemon Mario and Pokemon Luigi

Excited fanny juice is mostly blood plasma. Does that mean so is spunk?

Wallace and Grallace
Womit and Gromit

Oh, why do I not have pedipalps and antennae?

Hate it when people at work try to chat to me when we're in the toilet. This is the Poo and Wee Room; there is no talk here, only poo and wee.

I need someone to put a corkscrew in me and drain me of all the fart bubbles I can feel building up in me.

I want a huge rugby-ball sized Brazil nut - not to eat, I just want the texture. I want to gnaw and CRONCH it. I want to drag my incisors across it and leave deep grooves, then bite down hard and make it crumble.

I thought I had 2 identical duvets but it turns out one is 10.5 tog and the other is 13.5 tog. Woke up feeling like a glazed little roast parsnip, have now changed them over.

Why don't office buildings have vacuum tube document delivery systems any more? You know, the ones where you put a document in a canister then put the canister in the vacuum tube network, and it goes ZOOP to its destination. Did executives keep trying to fuck the tubes?